Anne Maria Pumpkin*
Everyday: an opportunity to choose not to act violence.
In our daily life there are moments that put us to the test, critical issues that we struggle to face, emotions that we are unable to contain. These are occasions whose effects often have repercussions in the couple relationship, moments in which it is possible to overcome the boundary of "normality" to act male violence against women.
In line with the general objective of the Five Men project, promoted by Department for Equal Opportunities of the Presidency of the Council of Ministers with the contribution of the European Commission, “Promote and spread a clear message on zero tolerance for all forms of violence against women and girls”, the web series #MENTHINGS, proposes to abandon the representations of women as weak victims mistreated to show the other side of the problem: "the wrong behavior of men in the male world".
The moment of the "seduction”Represents the beginning of a sentimental relationship that can contain negative stereotyped meanings and connotations such as to force the girl to do what she normally would not want to do. In the short film of the web series "David / attack" instead a student emerges who when he finally finds the opportunity to approach the girl he has liked for months, does not tread his hand, but waits for her to make her choices too.
The "job loss"Leads to a sense of frustration that is often further amplified if she has to take care of the children and the house if the woman works. In the short film "Nicola / In porta ”the new and difficult balance, after a first moment of disarray, is sought, strongly desired and in the end achieved without resorting to episodes of violence.
The "birth of a child"Is an important moment that inevitably entails a substantial change in the couple's relationship, considering that both become parents. This new role often frightens and - if the relationship is not based on mutual respect and esteem - the new mother-child couple inevitably triggers feelings of jealousy, discomfort and loss of power on the part of the man. In the short film "Riccardo / Substitution ”the new father overcomes the changes even if with difficulty and accepts to become a father.
The "jealousy" often welcomed with pleasure because it indicates "love", in fact over time becomes an instrument of isolation, of arrogance, of control. In the short film "Massimo / A straight leg ”jealousy becomes morbid and therefore no longer justifiable when the couple should be more united to face together the bad accident on the scooter of Irene's best friend, Massimo's partner.
The "separation”Is always a difficult decision to accept. In the short film “Paolo / Perdere” the reaction to the termination of the relationship is violent due to the inability to understand the reasons, recognize one's mistakes, face and overcome the difficult moment even asking for help. The closing of the short film proposes the intervention of a friend at the right time (in this case Nicola), knowing how to receive this help and knowing how to abandon oneself to one's fragility (crying).
In summary, the male characters are well inserted in the scenes of everyday life and the aim of making them protagonists of change is generally evident; similar attention was not given to female figures, all beautiful, whose actions often recall stereotypes. For example, the pretty, career woman who does not take care of the children and the house at all, the classic "man"; or the new mother completely absorbed by her son who does not think about anything else and forgets about everything else; or the ex, however beautiful and above all excessively provocative, who meets the new dad in crisis. In the latter case, although the meeting is intended to be casual, the classic cliché of the "devil" (the woman) and "holy water" (the husband who is faithful despite the crisis) is re-proposed.
In any case, in all the scenes there are many ideas for in-depth analysis and debate that will certainly favor interesting information / awareness-raising actions during the INFODAYs that will be organized by DiRe on 20 Italian cities from March to October 2015.